words

i find sleep difficult to achieve in the transitions,
the odd little spaces between one life moment and the next.

order dissolves in bits,
gives way,
friends are rationed and some lost in arithmetic.
a hibernation of sorts begins,
an edging back from the active world,
one that responds in three dimensions.

my dreams become much clearer,
much more responsive, vivid.
i can hear my thoughts in them,
trace reasoning.

the dog watches the nimble movement of my fingers,
the precision and wonders.

his olfactory reasoning processes no discernable signifigance,
the mystery breathes.

this is how one perceives their master.

he curls up at my feet and sleeps, at peace.
i cannot say what he dreams.
i know only that he feels at ease by my presence
and if i vanished so too would his confidence in the world.

abandon words. abandon previous ideas, understandings.
sums accounted for, reasons reasoned.
the thin lines between everything are where the truth lies.
here now is only this, the present unavailable to the observer.

i wish to know the thoughts of reptiles,
the methods of insects,
the little mechanical rhythms
that keep them moving without politics,
without curiousity as to the nature of anything.
the dimensions we share.

how wonderous the ability
to request the body
to respond to the mind.
i wish to therefore i am able.
every moment a choice.
i can witness the response of bone,
muscle,
tissue
and blood
as my fingers dance,
dance endlessly a rhythm only i may know, only i command.

the dog wakes to check my proximity.
i bite my lip until it bleeds.
the nervousness we share is palpable yet separate,
the room smells of mixed anxiety.
he sleeps and i rest.

-S.C. Martinez